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Writer's pictureTara Tanksley Stallings

Understanding the Roles in Relationships

In every relationship everyone functions in a specific role. We have masculine, feminine, caregiver, disciplinary, leadership and fellowship roles. Do you know your role in your specific relationship?


Recently I had a conversation about understanding the importance of roles and consequently I teach a workshop on Relationship Diversity which addresses roles and functions within various relationships. Understanding that whether gender, family, communitive or work-related, we take on a role in every relationship that we encounter.

What I have noticed is many people take our roles that are not necessarily the role that they shouldn’t be functioning within that relationships. Consequently, what is happening is that people are becoming depressed, frustrated, angered and dismayed because they have taken on a role that was NOT purposed for them. As we assess roles as it relates to intimate relationships, both heterosexual or homosexual relationships everyone takes on a role. Often time people say 'well if I don’t take on a specific role “Things won’t get done!' And my response is what would happen if you suddenly became incapacitated? What role would your partner take on? What roles were they functioning in before you met each?


Are you functioning in the right role?


What happens when we function in roles that’s NOT purpose for us?

I often I see women take on roles and relationships and that causes them to be frustrated, anxious and depressed, because they have taken on the role that wasn’t purposed for them. Women often say “they want their significant other or spouse to take on the masculine manly role within the functions of the relationship BUT in actuality the WOMEN has taken on the traditional feminine and masculine roles. Many times, the WOMAN has NOT allowed their partner to function in the role that they are purposed to function in. As a result, frustration, augmentation, anxiety and burnout begins to dominate in the person’s life and within the relationship.


Is it time for you to reevaluate what roles you are playing in your relationships?

Are the roles that you are functioning in roles you a purposed for? Or are they roles you took over?

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